I've been busy since I took a stroll
By Galveston's old dockside;
No more I stare at the TV's glare
While planted on my backside.
My garden has all gone to seed,
Likewise my Aunt Marissa,
Since I signed on as a volunteer
Aboard the barque ELISSA.An historic ship tour seemed such fun
I had to step aboard, sir.
Her yards shone brightly in the sun
As any dragon's hoard, sir.
I thought a berth on such a craft
Would be a life of bliss, sir.
So I signed on as a volunteer
Aboard the Barque ELISSA.
I thought it fun to plough the seas
Aboard an old windjammer.
Never thought I'd labor on my knees
With scraper, saw, or hammer.
Now I scrape and paint and splice wire rope
And work up ugly blisters
Since I signed on as a volunteer
Aboard the Barque ELISSA.
I studied pinrail diagrams
With names in strange profusion.
The Tower of Babel had no share
Of such obscure confusion.
Of fore- and main-mast futtock shrouds*
And names more queer than this, sir,
I studied as a volunteer
Aboard the Barque ELISSA.
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I learned to sing sea chanteys, too,
To scream into the breezes,
In reverent praise of drunken sprees
And venereal diseases.
Of places I have never been
And lips I've never kissed, sir,
As a shorebound, hayseed volunteer
Aboard the Barque ELISSA.
I never felt so awkward, sir,
As during our sail training.
We lurched through drills and hoped for wind,
If it's blowing, sure it's raining.
Of manila splinters have no fear
Try not to be remiss, sir,
As a slow and clumsy volunteer
Aboard the Barque ELISSA.
At hauling weather main course brace
I was not quick nor brave, sir.
So I spent the rest of the forenoon watch
Ask the cookey's "galley slave", sir.
To tend the fires with the fair maids there
Was quite a life of bliss, sir,
As a well-fed, pampered volunteer
Aboard the Barque ELISSA.
And now ashore I hear no more
The capstan's clanking din, sir.
No more I steer, no more I fear
The Bosun's gnarly grin, sir.
On other coasts and other ships
I know I still will miss her
And yearn again to volunteer
Aboard the Barque ELISSA.
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